The life of a military wife

Tonight we hosted a surprise party for a friend's 30th birthday, it was nice to throw my thoughts into something other than Michael leaving...but as the guests arrived, I began to reflect on just what we (military wives) do everyday.  Of the party attendees, two guys were away on TDY (business trip) leaving their wives with infants & toddlers to chase whilst going in two different directions; one guy is getting ready to move his wife, 4 week old & 22 month old sons to Colorado while he goes to Alaska for a year without them; another family is juggling their two small ones...one who is sporting a cast from his ribs to below his knees (fractured femur-ouch!); the birthday girl's family - who are dealing with a close family member's abduction; our family & two other married couples without kids...(I asked them if they knew they were coming to a birth control party!?!? LOL!)  There were about 10 kids - if it weren't for the two couples we would have definitely been out-numbered!  But I digress...as I looked at all of these families I felt proud - proud in the fact that they were living life.  A life that not many can understand.  But we didn't sit around and complain about what we didn't have, didn't understand or didn't like. Military wives are made from different piece of cloth - we rarely get a choice in the decisions made for our spouses regarding their jobs, we just have to live with the decision the best we can.  Even if that means living without them for a weekend, a week, a month, a year or more. Sometimes knowing that they're in harms way, missing birthdays, baby's milestones, holidays...all in the name of freedom.  Most Americans do not really understand how priviledged they live -- and I don't feel a sense of entitlement by loving a man whose chosen to serve his country; I feel blessed.  Blessed to know and love someone who believes in a cause greater than himself.  Yes, I could cry & carry on that my husband is going to be taken away from us...but what good does that do him?  he needs to know that I've got things under control here on the home front so that he can do his job overseas and have comfort knowing that his family is healthy and happy.  Does this make any sense? I'm just glad that I have friends who can find the courage to get out of their houses with children in tow in order to keep living their lives, despite what end of the earth their better half may be on!

Settling in

Well, I think we're all finally settling into the idea that Michael will be leaving -- well, as 'settled' as one can be.  The kids have no idea...and they won't until Daddy isn't around.  It makes me sad just thinking about it.  The idea that Michael will be gone for so long puts a burden on my heart -- can I raise these children well all by myself?  I have this guilt that I'm going to instill only my bad qualities in them, I'm the hot tempered, emotionally charged part of the parenting duo -- Michael is the calm and RATIONAL one - much more even keeled and very smart...hey, at least I get to win a couple of arguments for a while :)  Cassidy is hysterical because she often says "but you know everything Mom" -- I wish honey!

We are still uncertain of where the kids and I will be, but it is looking more and more like staying in Ohio is the best idea.  While it would be great to be closer to family in Texas, moving back across the country to stay for 18 months, then move across the country again to Virginia (where we'll be for maybe 2 years) really doesn't seem rational.  Even if we moved back into our old Texas house, whose around to support me & the kids?? Michael isn't attached to a squadron there.  We have some really good friends in town but the closest family is about 2 hours away.  Here, I'm plugged into the AFIT group --so we have military support; we've made some good friends, I have wonderful neighbors (babysitter, snow shovelers, playmates) all right next door!  I'm a short flight from family...and closer to Michael while he's in DC for training.  I think logically, it just makes sense to stay here.  I didn't even talk about trying to carry the two mortgages that we have thanks to our last PCS...a mere 6 months ago!

The initial blow was a bit bitter to chew, but I can't say that I was totally surprised by it.  Perhaps I am like the wives whose spouses went to Vietnam on multiple tours -- they had to do it alone while they feared the worst for their better half.  I am certain that God is watching over our family -- he doesn't have to take Michael to Afghanistan to show how quickly life can change, that could happen around the corner, on his way home from work, or in some freak accident in the backyard...life if precious EVERY day. 

I'm going to snuggle my kiddos and spend time with my man now...while I can!

My Deepest Condolences

So, yesterday we got the news...Michael was selected for AFPAK Hands...what is that you say?  "AFPAK Hands are the 'best and brightest' of our Armed Forces and are specially selected for his or her talent and either their knowledge of COIN doctrine, language or culture of the AFPAK region".  In one view (half full), this is an honor to be selected for this special assignment; joint tour credit; accelerated career progression is offered; and specialized training.  In the other view (half empty), the Captains & Majors involved with the project can expect to be 'engaged' for a period of 3-4 years...so the next ~42 months in the Brannon house will be something like this:

6 months - Daddy in DC for training - learning Afghan language, culture and what job tasks/responisibilities
12 months - Daddy 'in theatre', supposedly Michael has been assigned to Central Kabul (much better than a FOB *forward operating base* in my opinion, at least Kabul is somewhat of a modern city & has technology)
12 months - Daddy home (they've decided that 'home' will be Langley AFB)
9-12 months - Daddy back 'in theatre'

Roughly, that is 39-42 months spent on applying "their expertise to governance, stabilization, reconstruction and security" to implement the USG AFPAK strategy -- ya, whatever that means!

Stunned...virtually speechless.  That was my response...it was ironic that WE were the family chosen from all the people we know in the Engineer world.  There are 13 Air Force Civil Engineers attached to this project...everyone around the office trickled into Michael's 'cube' (office) giving their condolences...other friends via text, phone call or Facebook expressed their sadness...offered prayer.  GOD knows we need all of the prayer we can get. 
I keep running through all of the things that Michael is going to miss....holidays, birthdays...he's supposed to leave for Afghanistan the week of our 10th wedding anniversary.  And then, where are we supposed to live while Michael is away...his 'hub' will eventually be Langley AFB, Virginia (where he will do his job for the 1 year home) -- so do we try to move there now, do we stay in Ohio, do we move closer to family in Texas???
At this time, Michael is supposed to leave for training the last week of August.  He's trying to get that training waived and report at a later time, like early October.  He will be in Washington D.C. for 6 months training before he goes in late March...should we move to Virginia so that we can be closer to him -- would we even be able to see him while he's in training??  Then he'll deploy to Afghanistan for a year, return to Langley to work for a year...so, if we don't move now to VA, then when? When would be a good time to go? Now, since we've only just begun to get settled here?  Stay here, let Cassidy finish kindergarten then move that summer (when Michael should return home)?  Move to Texas, probably back into our Schertz house, or rent a house in the DFW area...for the 18 months that Michael will be gone and then move to Langley when he's supposed to return???  Oh the decisions...but the one problem is, he may not be able to move us at this time.  The first group of AFPAK hands didn't get to move their families until after they were already down-range.  I just want things to be taken care of so that I can just get some sort of comfort with the new "single mommy" lifestyle. 
I'd love to just have a life planner come and tell me what to do...I know that He will guide me, but sometimes it just isn't so clear...please pray for clarity and comfort for our family.

I think I have ADD...hmm??

So, is it just me, or is it 'normal' to start one task, think of something else while you're doing that task, begin another task -eventually getting back to the first task at hand....but possibly not finishing either one?  I haven't been my 'good 'ol self' in a while...who is that you say?  The "finisher" Cami, the one who made a list, checked it twice and felt accomplished at the end of the day....what has changed since then?  I've become a mother :)  Now my list is sooo much longer due to so many more clothes, so many more appointments, so many reasons not to even leave the house to DO the errands! (naps are a big one -- don't want to mess with those!)  Plus lack of sleep on my part makes getting motivated hard...I still have bare walls and pictures in boxes...and don't even ask if there are baby pictures up yet...I don't even think Jake's are in frames!  I am just now getting around to getting Will's birth announcements sent out -- I was much more on top of the other's kids...but I guess you can say that my standards have relaxed a little...hopefully not for good, just for the time that I am am ONE person with my TWO hands full with THREE beautiful kiddos FOUR and under! I will regain my totally obsessed with 'everything has it's place' self -- right now, everything's place is wherever it got left last -- good luck finding it!

Thank God for electricity!

We had a power outage last night that lasted for about 6 hours!! This just made the house dark, the AC had already gone out on Monday -- so it was already hot & humid in the house, but now we couldn't use the fans either so it got down right balmy.  The storm that rolled in whipped around the large trees in our yard like cattails -- I knew this wasn't a good sign...then boom, some lightening & thunder and a large crash...out went the lights...and the water for that matter because our house is supplied by a well.  At about 4 am the fans & all the lights that were on when the outage happened turned on -- thank you LORD!! I wasn't sure how I'd face the day with a hot & humid house and NO water either, but the Lord saved me from the gloom of 1/3 of those concerns and for that I'm thankful!!  When day broke we saw that one of the neighbors large cottonwood trees had fallen onto some power lines, not sure if that's what caused the outage, but maybe it will give us some good firewood for the winter :)
Cassidy enjoyed another night at VBS last night...after she had a complete meltdown as I was trying to leave.  She didn't take a nap yesterday and I asked her if that is why she was so emotional and she agreed.  At least if she is just like me in personality, she has one up on me, and that is that she can admit her faults!  After some coaching, she decided to stay...and at the end of the night she said she had "so much fun".  But the weird thing is, when we asked what she did, what she'd learned...."I don't want to tell you, I don't want to tell anyone" -- what?? I wanted her to rush home and share what new songs she'd learned, dances, crafts...she wanted to just keep all of that joy to herself.  I told her that maybe one day she would want to share it with us, and it was okay that she didn't want to right now.  I know that the Lord is working in her heart -- as we were driving home she said, "Mom, God made those lights and the everything else in the world too".  I love that she's having a good time at VBS although the fact that it's 6:15 - 9 pm is not so great...I have been trying to run around to get dinner cooked on time and then when she comes home she is soooo riled up that she doesn't settle into bed without some stern words and on one occasion a total meltdown with red, swollen, puffy eyes...she is great at fighting sleep.  Only two more nights left, so hopefully we can swing back into bedtime routine starting this weekend.
Jake decided that he likes the tricycle now - we have one that has a parent handle.  He can reach one pedal but not both, and he used to kick & scream when we'd try to put him on it, now he just squeals because he needs a little help getting on it!  Cassidy on the other hand has ridden her new "big girl bike" a handfull of times...I threaten to give it away...maybe she'll decide that she can ride her big bike since Jake can almost ride his big boy trike :)  She's all about not being "little" -- we'll see!
Will, well, he's sleeping through most of the night already!  Can't believe that it's been six weeks since his arrival.  He is becoming quite a chunky monkey -- but with all of this heat & humidity, his skin looks terrible!  He is such a good baby - with the exception of a few puking episodes that have required complete clothing changes for both of us - he is pretty easy! Did I just say that???
Well, I'd better get on with our day -- before it starts to slip away!

'Just another Manic Monday'!

Well, I tossed and turned after doing the baby's 4:30 feed, so I got up and got started with my day.  Of course, I had to pump first, since the baby sleeps so well at night I get super full on one side -- of course I have too much milk for this baby...unlike with the previous two, I don't have a stressful job to diminish my supply!  So maybe I'll be able to keep him on breastmilk for a while after he's weaned...but we'll be needing a deep freezer soon otherwise, the whole family's gonna be having breastmilk! LOL!  Anyway, after pumping, I called my soon-to-be former boss, left her a 2nd message to call me so that I could quit!  I then began writing my resignation letter -- I got my labels for the birth announcements shored up; gave Jake some cuddle time after he woke up, made chocolate milk, got Jake dressed, unloaded the dishwasher, loaded the dishwasher, Cassidy woke up -- she's into picking out her clothes the night before so that she can dress herself in the morning -- (awesome!) I of course got caught up on emails & Facebook -- the vortex that is the black hole in my life!  Then got the baby fed & dressed...fed myself & Jake some cereal, Cassidy refuses breakfast usually, so I let her finish off her snack from Vacation Bible School last night...pretzels, cereal and M&Ms...then off to aerobics @ the YMCA (or the MCYA, MCMA, CMYA--those are the things Cassidy calls it!)  I managed to get all 3 kids there on time, check them in and get to class -- worked out, all 3 did great in the childcare room!! came home fixed lunch while I fed the baby -- I do entirely too much while nursing -- could explain some of the soreness I get from time to time :)  Now all are down for a nap...time for Mommy to catch up on some stuff...been searching for a photo website to archive photos and print off for the grandmothers...don't think I've sent them actual photos since Cassidy was a baby!  But they always ask..oh, I do send them professional photos..just not actual day-to-day photos.  Oh, I ate lunch too...now, trying to plan a trip to the Library, figure out when to take the stale bread to feed the ducks/geese...but really should be stuffing the birth announcements and getting those ready for the mail...did I mention it's 1:37p.m. I've been up since 4:30 a.m. and I had my first cup of coffee in a really LONG time (I usually have a diet coke or coke zero as my a.m. pick me up) but I've been trying to wean myself off of the soda...I think it's making me retain the fluff around my midsection - I know I just had a baby...but I actually WANT to workout for a change!  Really, I just want to eat what I want to and not see it show up on my thunder thighs!  And I'm not one of those nursing moms who just spontaneously drops weight like a fly...but I've been pregnant or nursing for the last 4 years with little break in between...so who knows, maybe I will get back into that college size!  Cassidy has VBS tonight and we might head up to Ritters (a wonderful custard shack) to meet up with some friends tonight..maybe I can justify the custard if we walk there and walk back (about a 2 mile walk with hills!)...it's 1:41...did I mention I drank coffee??!??

Can't quite decide if blogging is my thing??

Let it be said...I'm terrible at blogging.  Of course, I did just add a wonderful little guy to our household, making 'free time' a bit difficult.  Additionally, Cassidy is now staying home and I've become a stay-at-home Momma!! WOW! Things have changed a ton since my last post!  Let's see...we had a baby - it's a boy! *remember that old long distance commercial??*, co-hosted a baby shower for a good friend, we celebrated Mother's Day...truly blessed! then Cassidy's 4th Birthday -my where did the time go?? then Michael's lasik eye surgery, Cassidy's birthday party...Jake's first haircut, Will's umbilical stump finally falling off after his 2 weeks appt!! Will growing out of newborn diapers...then newborn clothes, but not fitting in 3 months clothes...oh, what to wear...Will turning 1 month old...5 weeks old...3 month clothes fit...and here we are, almost at 6 weeks and we are getting a few coo's and at least one gummy grin a day! Life has really gotten so much more hectic & definitely more challenging with our newest addition...but I wouldn't have it any other way! Now... I just need to inform my boss that I'm not coming back to work *sorry* and make all of our "well" visit appointments to the pediatrician...Cassidy's 4 year old, Jake's 18 month old, and Will's 2 month old...my where DOES the time go??  So, my goal is to become a better blogger, for my kid's sake...so that I can print this stuff off and remind them that I did notice the small things...AND the BIG things when they were little...and that I do care, so much...